Super-sized Food and Drink
The drive up was awesome, we held hands, made faces at each other and generally realized that we fit each other very well. Beyond already having nothing on his face for me but a smile, this made a year for us and we still hadn't had a single argument. He refuses to abuse me. LOL. That is how he views the way that people here relate to one another. Abuse. We have disagreements, differences if opinions and other such things just like every other couple I know. How we handle it is what makes us work and different. Looking into his eyes for the first full day and seeing nothing but love and the normal looks (hunger, is he/she/it serious, done yet, keep going, and so on) I knew that I never wanted to be away from this man.
I have no real comments on the drive but tons to say and keep to myself on how my heart changed and my soul grew during a long car ride through farm country sitting next to my best friend and in front of the love of my life. I have never been one for holding hands and kissing unless it was a small child. Jens had revolutionized my little universe. Touching him was/is magical as if it's a touch I have always known, and always crave when it is not present. As much as I wanted to punch every female before me that said these words now I get it. He completes me.
With him I feel free for the first time ever to truly open up and just be. Be myself, be better, be real, be true, be everything and anything... to just Be. Be in the moment, be aware, be alive. I feel like my existence isn't for naught. That I have a reason to draw breath. That my birth wasn't just some random event that happened because my parents had sex. That all the years of feeling unwanted, unneeded, unimportant, invisible, and expendable I had finally found someone (other then Dorothy Roper) that saw me for me. Not the mask I wear but the face I hide within. Family has not done this, but this young man from the frozen north looked long and hard and he found me.
So happy to be found. I feel like a treasure and not driftwood.