Super-sized Food and Drink

So after spending a few hours in Chicago we finally got on the road to head to St. Louis. The plans to stay overnight in a hotel there fizzled with my nerves. Which was okay. We got back to St. Louis around 1 am. Mom had fixed us a Thanksgiving Feast. We returned her her car and fixed plates. Jens ad mom talked for a little while, dad and Jens talked for a little while and we were off with saran wrapped plates to my apartment. With little to no discussion, eating some food, and being exhausted we climbed into my bed and enjoyed the sleep of the dead for 3.5 hours. We then got up repacked my luggage set.. (hello kitty dark blue with brown) and headed to my best friend Tricia's house. We loaded into her car and we were off to Michigan to celebrate the 4th of July with her Grandparents. We hit Culver's  at every food stop on the way there. Sweet potato french fries and butter burgers... yummy. Jens commented at the first one how big the drinks were and how sweet compared to Finland.
   The drive up was awesome, we held hands, made faces at each other and generally realized that we fit each other very well. Beyond already having nothing on his face for me but a smile, this made a year for us and we still hadn't had a single argument. He refuses to abuse me. LOL. That is how he views the way that people here relate to one another. Abuse.  We have disagreements, differences if opinions and other such things just like every other couple I know. How we handle it is what makes us work and different. Looking into his eyes for the first full day and seeing nothing but love and the normal looks (hunger, is he/she/it serious, done yet, keep going, and so on) I knew that I never wanted to be away from this man.
   I have no real comments on the drive but tons to say and keep to myself on how my heart changed and my soul grew during a long car ride through farm country sitting next to my best friend and in front of the love of my life. I have never been one for holding hands and kissing unless it was a small child. Jens had revolutionized my little universe. Touching him was/is magical as if it's a touch I have always known, and always crave when it is not present. As much as I wanted to punch every female before me that said these words now I get it. He completes me.
   With him I feel free for the first time ever to truly open up and just be. Be myself, be better, be real, be true, be everything and anything... to just Be. Be in the moment, be aware, be alive. I feel like my existence isn't for naught. That I have a reason to draw breath. That my birth wasn't just some random event that happened because my parents had sex. That all the years of feeling unwanted, unneeded, unimportant, invisible, and expendable I had finally found someone (other then Dorothy Roper) that saw me for me. Not the mask I wear but the face I hide within. Family has not done this, but this young man from the frozen north looked long and hard and he found me.

So happy to be found. I feel like a treasure and not driftwood.

Awesome cupcakes we found at Meijer's! I love this place more than Walmart! Hope we get one in St. Louis!


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